Added on Feb. 6, 1999

From lsjohnson@capecod.net

when I slept in line to run that grassy field at the ball

you have this 4 in' thick folder of phish articles, pictures, lyrics you wrote down, poems you wrote after most shows you've been to

when you wake up after rochester in the hotel to the phone ringing and it was the girl you went to rochester with that never came back after the show and claims to be in fishmans hotel room in albany and says that he gave her a ticket to albany and you tell her that I just gave my ticket to my buddy for 10 bucks just because she told you the night before that she really had to take off after rochestor and had no money to get home and fish says in the back ground of the phone call "no problem" so you drive to albany by yourself and meet her and her phriend that she was with in front of the hotel they stayed at. She has this huge smile and a broken drum stick in her hand and says lets go to will call. we wait in the phish line and under fishmans list there was her name and my ticket and her and her friends tickets an 2 backstage passes for her and her friend. did that make my day!! so i got to sit next to fish's old man and shoot the shit. But i still haven't got to thank fish so if for some reason you read this THANK YOU!!!!!! if not I hope to see you in the lot some time to thank you. Erin and Alison say thanks too

your set lists and tour journals are some of your favorite reading materials

when you make a shirt that says I PRAY TO ICCULUS and wore it to church

you leave that funeral with sparkle blairing just to put that smile back on my face

when you see girls with big phatty dreads and find them atractive

when you really enjoy(love) hearing and seeing them boys play

From quahog@nycap.rr.com

• your late to work because you cant bring your self to shut the music off.

From kpaquin@hopper.unh.edu

• on your way back to school in the fall, you make your dad drive four hours out of the way to burlington just so you can go to nectar's
• your parents continually ask you "what the hell are they saying?"
• you get personalized license plates reading GOLGI...
• you want to yell at the dumb girl who saw a summer show and said, "i guess it was good, but they didn't play bouncing around the room."
• your main pastime in the car on the way to the show is making hemp to sell so that you can get enough gas money to make it to the show the next day... five hours away.

From zchisholm@hotmail.com

when you look at your ticket stub to tell what day it is.

when you buy a new pair of gloves just so your index finger doesn't fall off on fall tour.

when somebody tells you they will be back in 15 minutes and you expect them to be back in 45 minutes.

when you decide instead of doing laundry, you'll just buy a new shirt from one of your phriends.

when you have bought and sold your self control for more than it was worth.

From Wikipagrv@aol.com

• You pass a derr crossing sign while driving and you start signing "Run Run Run Run Run Run Run......"
• You consider stealing the street sign from the next blaock that says La Grange Ln.

From klnevitt@swbell.net

• Everytime your drum teacher introduces a new concept you relate it back to a Phish song and insist he listen to it.
• You get excited when a song that Phish covers comes on the radio, even if it is Hold Your Head Up.
• You and your Phriends at work trade of qoutes from Phish songs on a dry erase board at work and get weird looks from everyone else.
• You read this page then laugh and laugh then fall apart.
• You try to do they tramp routinue from YEM to your non-Phish friends.

From lincze1@maine.rr.com

when your dad just about drove into a tree hearing Fee for the first time.

when your mom forsakes that classical shit and asks you to make a tape for her with Guyute on it.

when your 11-year-old brother figures out Stash on the clarinet.

when the recurring dream you've had every night since Worcester has Trey saying your name during Makisupa.

From guyute420@hotmail.com

if you lost your one tape with guyute on it and whistle the song for three straight days until you get a new boot with guyute on it.

if you can get back from your trip to the bathroom JUST as the lights go out for the second set.

if you've actually told somebody about the "best damned grilled cheese sandwich you've ever had" in detail.

if you've ever eaten a grilled cheese sandwich with mayonaise in it, but not know the difference.

if a cop has ever made you finish your beer in the middle of the street

From BMFBEAIRD@prodigy.net

• when yousleep lengthwise in your bed and have nightmares about a GIANT IGUANA

From nlgeorge@gateway.net

• you know your a phishead when u can't fall asleep unless Divided Sky is on repeat.
• when u get bored in class, and decide to pick the first song that comes to your mind and u just have to write the lyrics down in your notebook.
• when u are enable to do any homwork until trey starts talking to u in his music.
• when your car ride tells u on the first day of school, "no phish", yet u plead for just one song. by the time u get to school, the whole tape has been listened too.
• when your so motivated to convince the new comer that phish truly is the best; u play the songs and try so hard to get him into it, eventhough he looks at u like u are a psycho.
• when u listen to the song, "tela" and realize how that song relates to your "love-life"

From deetee@execpc.com

• You think Leo would make a damn fine president
• You get extremely pissed when someone announces that their favorite song is that one Sparkle song

From Daniel.Orseck@AIG.com

• When a Sample in a Jar has nothing to do with a drug test.

From phishlives@hotmail.com

• You ask a total stranger for his empty Ben and Jerry's Phish Stick box (this applies to me :)
• You are know as the resident hippie of your school
• All the cd's n your collecton are of Phish
• You go around calling your Phriends brothas and sistas
• You eat grilled cheese every night
• Your a vegetarian/vegan
• You wear hemp other than necklaces
• You make patchwork
• You start screaming when you hear phish on the radio

From markhuis@cats.ucsc.edu

You live in Northern California, didn't get into the Fillmore, but sat drooling outside like a maniac grovelling for a ticket.

You've offered sexual favors for Phish tickets and meant it.

You have over 50 CDs of Live Phish that you got off of the net.

You maintain a page of Phish (www2.ucsc.edu/~markhuis/phmp3lnx.html) that takes up more time than your main homepage.

You mourn a busted tape like it was a child.

You convert your friends into Phriends through sheer repitition.

You listen to Reba and chide Trey when he gets off beat with Trey.

You fantasize about a Trey - Mike guitar duel.

From Trvr Ptrsn@aol.com

• when you won't make plans for the summer until the tour dates come out
• when you treat Phish as a religion; Trey is god, page, mike and fish are sons of god, and each of the characters in songs are higher beings (icculus, wilson, harry hood, etc...)
• when your parents don't understand why you have to goto the shows and can't just listen to it on a cd or wait for the bootleg to come
• when the Phish sticker on your car is worth more than the actual value of your car

From RKope67766@aol.com

• manteca means something
• you are always looking for "F" words that can be spelled with "Ph"

From Hermjon@aol.com

• When your parents start to pick up on your obsession, i.e. "Are you going to see the Phish again?"
• when you finally realize that "Golgi" and "Lizards" are really stupid songs.
• when you laugh at people who hold up ticket stubs during the chorus of "Golgi" and people who hold up their shoes during "Cavern".
• If you're the guy who invented the concept of yelling "Hood!" after the band says "Harry..."
• if you bring glow-sticks to a show strictly for the purpose of chucking them down upon the heads of floor people.
• if you find yourself making humorous references to "kind veggie burritos" at least 4 times per week.
• if you know the responses to the five different "signals" that Phish pretty much abandoned about 4-5 years ago.
• if you attended a show where one of the following was played: "Kung", "Faht", "Catapult", "Sanity", "Lengthwise" or "Iculus".
• if you can't hear the word "Rosemont" or "Horizon" without remembering one of the coolest nights you ever had.
• if you can admit to yourself that despite your love for the music of phish, their lyrics are usually pretty fuckin dumb, and usually don't look so cool printed out on the backs of t-shirts and bumperstickers. (exception: "The children are old enough to read Iculus" (also could be, "the children are old enough to ridicule us")--true poetry!)
• If you can sing along with the complex, syncopated fugues of "Fluffhead" and "Reba" without missing a single note or lick.
• if someone offers you $250 for your extra halloween ticket, but you decide instead to sell it at face value. And the opposite is true: If you have ever sold your extra for more than you paid for it, then you're not a phishhead, you're just a prick.

From JBT8@aol.com

• when you know the moma dance
• when you skip school just so you can be one of the first to get story of the ghost ( I did)
• you think trey is from another planet
• when after reading this page you say, "damn, I do all those things!"
• when the bartender asks what you want to drink and you tell him bathtub gin
• when the circus is the place for you with bears and clowns and noise

From mall@ocsonline.com

• When you name you kittens Icculus(ICKY for short) and Tweezer and you name your dog Caspian.

From gragrafeh@hotmail.com

• you can't spell
• you repeat yourself
• when friends ask you questions and you answer in a Phish Phrase
• whenever you're on a boat, you search in vain for Fee

From rastaman@ix.netcom.com

• Your college choice is UNLV just so you can be first in line to buy tickets to the 10/30 and 10/31 shows at the Thomas & Mack Box Office.
• When you try to picture what Esther looks like naked.
• When your listening to Harry Hood alone you turn out all the lights in your house and start throwing your glow sticks around.
• When you leave a show and all you can say is "WOW!"
• When you go to your older brothers house just to see if he has any new tapes you can "borrow". (Thanks Matt)
• When you tell your friend that is into Mettallica that you probably have found the greatest band around and force him to listen to tapes until he atleast says he enjoys Tweezer...Then he can't get enough of them either! (I told you Joe!!)
• When you think back to your first show and wish you would have loved the band then as much as you do now.

From EMJ1080@aol.com

• When you spend hours upon hours sewing little squares together, just so you have the perfect dress or pair of pants to wear on summer tour.
• When you get really really excited about finding a button the looks like the antelope crossing sign...and you promptly sew it on your perfect pants or dress...

From Shroomyhd@aol.com

• when one of the highlights of the magical experience of having your phirst child is going to a show while pregnant (so that even while in the womb your child can experience PHISH) and even greater taking your 1 yr old son to his phirst PHISH show and having him immediately start dancing and trying to sing along, all while wearing his phirst baby PHISH shirt.
• when people who used to think were losers suddenly become very intriguing because you just phound out that their phavorite band is PHISH, hey that can't be all that bad after all.(not that many phisheads are losers!)
• when you can't commit to going anywhere with your phriends if it's phor something that is more than 2 hours away but you're already planning for next summer's tour.

From bishop@flasuncoast.net

• You know Marcos Esquandolas
• You not only know Harry Hood, you also know where he goes when the light goes out, and visit him there frequently
• You are notorious for whistling the ending part of Reba
• You say "Rye rye rocco" in your sleep
• You have a webpage full of tape covers -- WARNING: Shameless self-promotion-- http://members.xoom.com/icculus/
• You go to a non-Phish show and mock the fact they don't segue or jam at all.
• You have the ability to take any statement and link it to a Phish song in some way or another

From DivideSky@aol.com

You're looking through your collections of ticket stubs and listening to Golgi Apparatus at the same time... and think "WOW! that's me!" :o)

You're waiting in line for tickets, and someone passes by and asks what tickets you're getting... the guy in front of you says "Phish, they're a Grateful Dead tribute band"... YOU NEARLY TEAR HIS HEAD OFF! :o)

When your favorite song comes on at a show, you immediately jump on the person next to you and hug them! Then you dance so hard you fall about 4 times :P

You brag to people that you were a vendor at shows and they have no idea what the hell you're talking about.

When you're trying to spell "Fish" for a report you did, and you have to keep erasing it because you spell it wrong (but i say i spell it right!)

From VFDL75C@prodigy.com

In Rhode Island (where every license plate starts with two letters) you honk and practically run a car off of the road just for having a 'PH-420' plate...and it reall _was_ a coincidence.

From DEGO 33@aol.com

If you were the wokie that was unable to complete that nights chess move

From chloe_ars@hotmail.com

You carry a Phish CD in your purse.

You go to every grocery store in town looking for Phish food...

The day you finally find it, you have the mega munchies and you and your best friend are dancing in the grocery store aisles singing Phish.

It's your first show and you want to experience everything so you ask some dude for a bite of his grilled cheese.

After the show you have no idea where you parked.

You make your friend that doesn't really like Phish go to a concert with you and she ends up really liking it!

From Prikdacow@aol.com

• when you actually stick around to read most of, if not the entire, webpage (as in, this one).

From buchanan@goes.com

You're favorite bowl is shaped like the phish logo

You can understand every single entry on this page

You have a phish tatoo on your leg

You use rubber cement to apply your phish decals to your car

You wonder what kind of sound you can get out of a dustbuster

you read every single entry on this page and wonder if the author was talking about you

instead of taking notes in class, you sketch phish albulm covers

you're bathtub is full of gin

You get really pissed off when someone says ph ISH?

When you're growing something sweet in your phishtank (buds)

From WILSONHOOD@aol.com

When you lie to your parents and tell them your going camping for the night but you really drive 4 hours to a Show, then turn around and drive home and hope to make it there by Noon Time.

When you are known through out the school that you are the "Tape Dealer" and you hand out 2 dozen of your setlist to Phans that wanna trade.

When you see a DeadHead wearing a shirt that says "Phriends Dont let Phriends do Phish tour" and you wanna kick the crap out of them.

When you Pull up to a car at a stop light loaded with Phish Stickers and you ask them If they have any Kind Nugz.

From Sruss12@aol.com

you see a hood blimp while on the highway and you swear out loud because you don't have a camera.

"you've been idle for awhile, do you want to stay online?" appears more than once while you're reading phishhead jokes.

you're convinced phish is a cult but don't really care.

you tell your parents you are going away for a couple days and they ask you where phish is playing now.

the woman at the post office voluntarily tells you when they will be getting in more padded mailers.

you mow lawns on a golf course and your boss tells you to use the lawn boy, because he knows.

you are convinced that every street sign that has a deer on it is an antelope.

From bw5167@cnsvax.albany.edu

• when you have more tapes than your older brother who was the one who origanlly got you into them.

From nordmann@gallery.wustl.edu

• you know and understand the all lyrics in Character Zero

From Phan9876@aol.com

• At your phirst phish show, you are the youngest one there, and lots of people stop to stare, as well as make phriendly chit chat, you don't think 13 is all that young to love the best music in the world.

From Grets@aol.com

• a phishead when you realize these guys could write the soundtrack to the movie version of your life.
• a phishead when you continue to consider Stash as a compositional masterpiece.
• a phishead when the 7 year old you babysit decides to name the baby turtle he found on your picnic last week "Fluffhead".

From ZHalm@ads.gwu.edu

• when the most common phrase among your non-phrends is "Can't we listen to something besides Phish", and of course, you close the nug jar and say "Get out."
• You take it personally when someone dislikes phish.
• THAT FAGGY PREP GOT BETTER SEATS THAN ME!!!
• "Can't this wait till I'm old, can't I live when I'm young" is your theme for life.

From nitefly@earthlink.net

When you hear the melody to "Turn, Turn, Turn", you turn around and wave to Paul.

If you are in a band, you insist that they get a sax player and start playing more bee-bop.

You've gone to my house, and gathered all my razors, and dumped out all those little prickly hairs so you could weigh them.

You have said "No, not Fishbone" a million times.

You can listen to a few minutes of a boot and tell what year it's from.

You don't own a single tape that doesn't have arrows and dates on it.

You think Phish did The White Album better than The Beatles did.

You turn off your headlights when Harry comes on.

You think Phish are dorques.

You've played a chess game that lasted for months.

You yell "Doh!" whenever you hear The Simpsons theme.

You think the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame should have been in Burlington.

You don't hear songs, you get them.

From AMcKelvy@compuserve.com

• you've signed every phish guestbook on the web
• your password is pHiShEaD
• you've spent more than two hours trying to figure out how much gas it'll take to get from MD to limestone, ME
• you know what it feels like to split open and melt
• you laugh every time "all things considered" comes on public radio
• your teacher sent you in the hall while trying to talk about the military JUNTA in africa
• you leave your body lying out on the floor

From PHOAM 53@aol.com

Everytime you see a yellow deer sign on the rode, you point and yell antelope.

When you measure the time you spend driving in your car by the amount of Phish tapes you have listened to.

When someone asks you how long it took to get somewhere and you say, Phish's set with Santana in Stowe Vermont, and one side of New Year's 93'.

From Robb_Barrett@cch.com

• You get excited whenever the words "four" and "twenty" are mentioned in the same conversation.
• You're on a diet, but can't refuse Ben & Jerry's Phish Food
• You look forward to going to work each day so you can log onto www.phish.net
• Whenever you hear someone say "Wash your face" you reply "and drive me to firenze?"
• You have a test at 8am, but just HAVE to stay up till 4:20am
• You consider April 19th as "New Years Eve"
• You laugh out loud when thinking of a funny Harpua
• You end your e-mails with Phish quotes
• You sit around with your friends and think of what you would say if you ever met the band.
• If you ever had the chance to meet the band and you would be most interested in asking what is said in YEM, and in seeing Henrietta's glass.
• When someone tells you to "be nice" and you reply "we don't want no nice guy."
• If you figure out when it's 4:20 in any part of the world so you can join them.
• You know someone who's met the band, but lost the camera with the pictures (or they didn't have one.)
• You worry more about your tapes being stolen from your car than you worry about your car being stolen.
• Your parents have money, and give you enough to go on tour, but can't understand how or why you like them.
• If you've gotten tired of explaining to your mom that you don't have enough tapes, and why not.

From bwright3@ix.netcom.com

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