Added on Jan. 6, 1998

From Shtunky@aol.com

• you pick a show at random, pop it in,..and try to call the opener!
• when you know every show by heart mysteriously just by reading the setlists,...i can,.and it bugs me out!
• you are the most civil person around,..but when someone who doesn't know phish says,..."aren't they,...uhhh,..like the greatful dead," you want to beat them over the head with a hammer!
• you do the "trey head bob" when jamming

From cveedmonds@erols.com

• You go to a concert not knowing who they were, and have been hooked ever since.

From engclerk@wrs.com

• When you dream of doing a YEM vocal jam with the band nightly before the tour finally arrives.
• when it seems perfectly rational to sell all material possessions when mail order is due.
• when non-phans see your tape collection and figure out how much it has cost you.
• when you laugh at people who complain that a 3-hour drive is a long way to go.
• when you can't leave the house until you have that perfect blend of tapes in your 15-tape carrier, and you're only going to the gas station to get some smokes.
• when you've forgotten that people do something other than seeing a show for New Years.
• when you're truly happy.

Added on Jan. 1, 1998 Hppy New Year !!!

From rose@valinet.com

• Your cat's name is Icculus and proclaim him to all your friends as "the kitty prophet"
• You can train a friend who doesn't like phish to say "where do you go when the lights go out?" after you say "harry, harry"
• You whistle Reba on a bus to see if a hippie boy turns around and smiles.
• You look up those words like "vasoconstrictor"
• You and a best phriend proclaim Nectar's and Burlington as the Mecca.
• You actually make a yearly pilgrimage to Burlington
• You convince your dad to bring you to a Phish show and not only does he like it, he buys you and a phriend tickets to another.
• Your phriend starts the bass drum part to Fee and you come in with the tinking noise... involuntarily
• You no longer can spell "fish" correctly the first time you try.
• People declare that you have a strictly sea-food listening diet
• Whenever you hear the word, Harry, you must say Hood
• When your parents think its a good choice to take a year off between high school and college to go on tour.
• You love everyone at a Phish show.
• You know all the lyrics to a Phish song without realizing it.
• You try to tell stories in the Trey-type fashion
• You're friend goes to Israel and you beg him to buy you the shirt that has the Phish logo, but it says Phish in hebrew.
• Your future plans are teaching music, go on tour, teach music, go on tour.. etc.

Added on Dec. 26, 1997

From DivideSky@aol.com

• You know you're a Phish-head if you have more pictures of Trey than you do of your family

Added on Dec. 18, 1997

From lburdett@millervaneaton.com

• You dream of auditioning for Phish's horn section, and when you wake up, you smile at what a truly nice guy Mike is.
• You will talk to anyone, in any town in America, no matter how seedy or shady they look, if they have even one article of clothing with the PHISH logo!
• You're going for your master's in music, and you wonder how you can get Trey's permission to do an in-depth analysis of the "Rift" album....or you hear Bach's influence in Guelah.....or the Wagner resolutions in the song Rift.....etc etc etc.
• Your blood boils evertime you mention Phish and someone says "Oh yeah, they're jsut like the Grateful Dead, right?"

Created by aronowm2@idol.union.edu

Sent in by bxl0652@megahertz.njit.edu

• You actually stayed to watch the orchestra so you wouldn't lose your spot.
• You understood what Trey was saying during 2001 at the Went.
• You keep trying to find Great Went Radio on your stereo.
• Everytime you pass by a person, you wonder if they're a Phan.
• You refer to the main strip of vending as Shakedown street.
• You tell people to "have a good show".
• You cheer as a song starts before you know what it is.
• You got your chicken dance for Runaway Jim down cold.
• You come back home with more water bottles than you brought with you.
• You go into Taco Bell and ask if fatty weggie cheese quesedillas are only a buck.
• You get your band a skyscraper.
• Someday, you swear that you'll kill someone until they die.
• You know the man Mulcahey

Added on Dec. 17, 1997

From aeputnam@arctic.nsbsd.k12.ak.us

• When you dream about jamming with Fish on the vacuum...
• When you walk around singing lengthwise to people who have never heard of phish.
• When you read about the Great Went while listening to it, and the part you're reading about is the same exact part that is playing on the stereo...
• When you buy the concert tapes because you can't remember happened...
• When people ask you why you are so silent in the morning.

Added on Dec. 16, 1997

From marinhdl@dnai.com

• You own both the cd and vinyl album of Lawn Boy on the origial a go-go record label
• You've been to 4 of the top 13 shows (2/20/93, 6/14/95, 12/1/95, and 12/31/95) and 7 of the top 50
• You drive 14 hours from southern Arizona to Salt Lake City to see one show (with Bela Fleck opening) then turn around and drive 14 hours back
• Trey stops the car that you are in after the ledgendary 2/20/93 Roxy show and asks if you guys wanna hang out sunday afternoon before the show
• You've seen Fishman play in only a jock-strap (7/15/92)
• You had to use a fake I.D. to get you into your early shows

From jhweiss1@students.wisc.edu

• Dream of being Prince Caspian, afloat upon the waves.
• When you drive 200 miles to Virginia Beach with a total stranger SWEARING you saw Trey in the car next to you with the Phish decal.
• When you argue with someone over how long they're ACTUALLY away for between sets.
• When you try to explain to everyone you know the Gamehenge saga. Even your grandparents.
• When you can swear Trey smiled at you during the show.
• When you sit for 3 hours straight staring at a net broadcast of Phish and eat three quarters of a tub of Phish Food ice cream by yourself.
• When you ask your friend who doesn't love Phish the way you do to give you his backstage pass instead of to your best friend in case he wins the raphel.

From flufhead77@aol.com

• When you can spit out the dates when destiny unbound, dog log, and alumni blues were played last, but you cant remember your girlfriends birthday.
• If your idea of a summer job consists of swinging icy cold Sammy Smiths and kind veggie burritos.

From estr92072@aol.com

• You laugh hysterically when your mom says haven't you seen them in concert before?
• You actually studied for a science test using lyrics to Golgi Apparatus.
• Your college graduation quote was, "Waiting for the time when I can finally say that this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way."

From garneaca@www.academic.marist.edu

• Your College Writing Professor asks you to "kindly stop writing papers on your obsession with Phish!"
• You've bought a MMW because you read alot of good stuff about it on r.m.p.
• All you want for Christmas is tickets
• You take your dad to a show...and he likes it!!
• The biggest decisions you make during the course of a day is deciding "what bootelg should I listen to" before going to bed
• You convince one of your professors to take the trip to Maine declaring "it will be the best weekend of your life"
• You see that same professor in the Fall wearing a bootleg t-shirt
• Whenever you see a car with phish-stickers you have to pass it to show that you are a fan too

From alfox@indiana.edu

• You have read every you know you are a Phish Head When... entry and totally understand.

From elf_pub@email.rutgers.edu

• You color coordinate your wardrobe to your different tour shirts
• Your feet crunch when you walk around your room...popped tape tabs.
• You engage in an "intellectual" dicussion on the meanings of the clothing/facial hair status of the band ('Dude! Did you see Fish at Pittsburgh? His hair was short and he was dressed in BLACK!!! He's getting serious!')
• Your memories of a summer are based around contextual set lists. ('Okay, so where was I....oh, yeah! So, they had played a stellar second the night before, and we were in a good mood, so we ....')
• Birkenstocks go with ANYTHING!!!!!
• Your four food groups are: Grilled Cheese, greens, "ghoulies," and water
• You realize that, in the grand scheme of things, these guys are the most important thing that a band should be...fun.

From rich0423@medaille.edu

• When you get engaged at a phish show.(I did, Loving Cup 12-11-97)

From bmc247@aol.com

• When on a first date, you ask the other person if the have any objections to naming their firstborn daughter 'Tela'. If they do, you say "Sorry, this isn't going to work. It's not me, it's you".

From MrWood104@aol.com

• when you can put any phish song's lyrics to the tune of reba (i swear i can do it)

From Fishy224@aol.com :

You adopt an orange cat and name him Ernie after Trey.

From NY to Maine is "just a few more miles."

You are cornered by a man who has waited for five minutes behind your car to ask you what the hell pa-hiche is.

You spend all the money you made selling hemp jewlery on t-shirts.

You're passing through burlington at 1am and you stop in at nectar's and you meet The Nectar, and he gives you hugs and kisses, a tour, a plate of gravy fries, and a shirt.

You race to identify each new song while Trey is setting the tempo.

Maine isn't too cold, too wet, too far, too big, or too muddy.

Your licence plate says PH 420, and you didn't even order it like that.

You think pants rolled up to the knee is damn sexy.

You patiently explain to your mom (again) why you feel the need to drive over 1400 miles in 2 weeks and see 9 shows in a row.

A crystal clear Nectar's 85 is your idea of gold.

You still can't believe how incredible this band is.

You're ready to lynch priscilla if you ever see her.

You walk up that big hill at deer creek with a rather large camera hidden in your drawers, and you like it.

You comb the lot for the "air gordon" shirt and when you find the guy you freak out an hug him and jump up and down and buy it even though he doesn't have the size you want because, hey, it'll stretch.

You have decided Page is a GOD.

Fish looks cute bald.

You could go on about this forever but you have to go now to flip the tapes over...

From KingOfTHip@aol.com :

You've aquired a smell for Mules.

You start playing guitar in hopes to become as good as Trey.

You quit playing guitar cuz you realise no one can play as good as Trey.

You consider dinner and a movie, Grilled Cheeses and a Good Acid Trip.

From MAscher80@aol.com :

You can name every Phish show you ever went to in order.

You try to play "Cars Trucks Buses" on Grandma's old steinway.

You save the fudge phish from Phish Food.

From javaphish@aol.com :

When you are doing the summer tour thing and you get robbed at Darrien Lake and you still go to the Went trying to phind a ticket.

When you meet kids who lost their rides at the beginning of the tour.

When you come home from a tour and start mass producing floral dresses.

When you truly can appreciate Fatty grilles Cheese 's.

From mswk@javanet.com :

When you have two cats one named Sticky and the other Bud.

From Ritarogers@aol.com :

You think nothing of driving 2000 miles to Maine for one weekend.

You read all the "you know youre a phish head when.."

You agree with them all.

You consider trading the clothes off your back for a ticket (..maybe you'll find a blanket...)

You look like everyone else at the show.

When you're walking through a massive crowd and think "you'll never get out of this maze" over and over in your head.

You've spent hours trying to play Fluffhead like Page but realize its just not gonna happen.

You trade garlic & grilled cheese sandwiches at shows for nugs.

When a dead possum in the road makes you sing instead of cry.

You go to Maine in a car that you KNOW you won't make it back home in.

You buy extra tickets to miracle away just to see people SMILE!!!

You've actually sat and thought about how bad a paper cut on the nipple would feel.

You sleep diagonal when they're gone.

You travel from Georgia to Maine with less than $100 (knowing half will be gone from gas money by the time you get to the show).

You sell everything you own (except Phish related items) to get monery for a show.

When everything makes you think of a Phish tune.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed to this page. And also a thank you to everyone who has come here and laughed. That's what makes me pheel good: When I make people happy.

From cabarnes@midway.uchicago.edu :

All of the sounds on your computer (start-up, etc.) are little snippets of Phish tunes.

You believe that Tweezer Reprise is hard rock.

You dream about playing in the band.

You have given a Phish song the ultimate tribute, naming a bong after it.

Your only large purchases are tickets.

You ask your girlfriend to change her name to Tela.

From gpr113@psu.edu :

You and the girl next to you in Astronomy class have to leave when the professor begins talking about Halley's Comet because you are "disturbing" people around with your mumbled singing.

From Greatphish@aol.com :

You go down all the isles at the grocery store to find an idea for a bootleg shirt.

You end up taping so many tapes for the newbies at your school you have no time for anything else.

You refer to things as "Dank".

You can't decide whether you're a prep school hippie or hip school preppie.

You plan on naming your kids "Reba," "Eliza," "Wilson," or "Ernest-Guiseppie".

From spunkman@skapunx.ml.org :

When you've stayed up all hours of the night debating weather or not the GCH should be incorported into Phish's regular line up.

You constantly threaten all of your friends named Wilson.

You've taught teachers the lyrics to Tweezer w/out them ever hearing a tape.

When you constantly try to convinvce the owner of the local country station you work at that "Scent of a Mule" really is bluegrass.

When you refer to every woman who has ever dumped/left/ignored/taunted you as Suzy Greenberg.

From dbelair@ix.netcom.com :

When you honk your car horn at people in a pair of two short blasts; like the intro to Wilson: du-du, du-du.

When you dream about drowning in a suit of armor.

When you know you're a genius, because, "your hands and feet are mangos."

When you'd rather spend you're NYE in freezing NYC than in Miami.

When you drive from anywhere to Plattsburgh, NY or Limestone, Me.

When you go looking for the dogmatic schmegma around the fishmarket.

From travis@dalord.com :

You're still wearing your flourecent green Great Went wristband.

You remember and prize the shirt you were wearing at your first show.

You find a picture of the Went on-line and try to convice everyone you know that the two blury kids in the background is you and your friend walking in.

You can't understand why your parents don't think it's safe to go to Madison Square Garden on New Year's Eve.

You're counting on your 16 year old friend with no car and no liscense for your ride to new year's

You run outside the house exited when the FedEx truck drives by and wonder why it doesn't have bells like the ice cream truck.

You wouldn't wash your yellow canvas Chucks until they were filled with beer because they had good Limestone Mud on them.

You stayed up all nite in the rain on friday before the Went talking to complete strangers because you were too exited to sleep.

You argue with your Phish-hating friend that Phish's Free Bird "guitar" solo is better than Skynyrd's.

You have to grab your tickets for your next show and look at them every time the line "got my ticket ready, don't you want to go" is sung.

From XDoGGaX@aol.com :

You're listening to Phish RIGHT NOW!

You chased the backbeat far behind.

You've used the phrase: GIVE HUGS.....SHARE NUGS.

You've washed your feet because they drive me into frenzy.

You've ever sucsesfully mouth jammed with 3 of your friends.

You've tried to make a woman match your move and shared it in the Weekapaugh Grove.

Not only have you bought control for smilers, you now sell it.

Copyright 1997-2002 Steffects, Inc.